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November 14, 2010
Another new comic done without Sam. Hopefully we can get back to regular updates fairly soon.
I've been working weekends lately, and when that happens I just can't update the strip. I didn't have to work this weekend, however, so here's the new one! Wooooooo!


"1.21 Gigawatts!!!."
Zach

October 9, 2010
Another new comic!
I need to point out that due to my recent inability to reach Sam via any means at my disposal, I had to go ahead and write this one myself. I do not plan for this to be the norm, and hopefully Sam will be writing the next page for everyone to enjoy. If you're reading this Sam, call me. I don't have your number for some reason. In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy the new strip. It doesn't move the story forward, but I had fun with it.
(Special thanks to my younger brother John for punching up the gag at the end.)

"I make art, like you make milk."
Zach

September 17, 2010
So wow.
Here is a new comic. I can't tell you how deeply I regret the way this website has fallen by the wayside...
Partially because I miss this comic so damn much, and the other partly because it's pretty hard to tell anyone anything when there's very little chance anyone is checking in anymore.
I'm just going to do this now, for funzies... ECHO ECHO echo echo...
Anyways. It felt REALLY good to do this new strip, and it made me feel like an ass for allowing it to sit on my desk for so long existing only in script form. I'd say I've been experiencing "artist's block," but a delay this long is far more than just that I'm fairly sure... All I can really be sure of is that I want this back. I love this comic like my own neglected child, and I hope we can find a way to feed it before it stinks up the place. As far as the future is concerned? I'm afraid I just don't know. Things are tough to figure out right now. I will only say this with any certainty, I really want to keep doing this, I very much hope that I can. Thank you if you are reading this right now. It means you are far more dedicated than I can rightly comprehend, and you have my gratitude.

"Time! I can't go back there!"
Zach

April 04, 2009
A couple of apologies are in order. Firstly, the lack of updates. Let's face it, we are a couple of guys who do NOT have our affairs in order. As soon as this can be remedied it shall. Second, and more importantly, we were recentlt hacked. It looks like the site was corrupted for a couple of days. This feels really gross, like being violated or something. I had to go through the entire website line by line to remove all the bad juju that had been squirted into every crevice... it wasn't fun. I hate to think what these bastards might have been using us for, and if anything bad happened to any of you while you were at our site, I appologize. I am so profoundly sorry about this. Hopefully I can be more vigilant in the future, and not allow things like this to go unchecked for long. Thank you all for your patience, your understanding, and if you've any pointers, your help.

"Your bullshit detector is bullshit!"
Zach

December 05, 2008
Hope you all enjoy the newest comic. The idea was actually thrown to me by my good friend John Venzon some time ago, and we've been sitting on it for a shamefully long period of time. Still, better late than never right? ...Yeah, you all probably don't want to hear THAT from me again.

"...Also, animals never fought in any war. Who's the REAL animals?"
Zach

July 23, 2008
Getting ready for the big event, Comic-Con! We unfortunately had not the time to do an actual comic, or anything productive like that, so here's a fun sketch in it's stead!

"I don't want to KILL you! What would I do without you?."
Zach

June 27, 2008
So I THINK we officially have an RSS feed now. It's sittin' up there, near the "NEW" section. Bein' all 'RSS'y. If I did it wrong, (And I know nothing about the internet, so this is VERY likely.) Please let me know via email, with maybe a few pointers on how to fix it.

"These aren't tentacles, they're GENTICLES!."
Zach

May 21, 2008
Still stalling until the weekend comes bearing fresh comic fruit. In the mean time, I stumbled on THIS PAGE today and it got me all nostalgic. Give it a look and we can all enjoy a "knowing" chuckle.

"That's no moon."
Zach

May 18, 2008
I made a slight mistake when I just went and straight blurted out that our hiatus was totally over. For me the obstacles were out of the way so I just assumed that was all that mattered because I'm self centered like that. unfortunately right on the heels of my work issues Sam has gone straight into finals and it sounds like they're hitting him hard. The comic script will be delivered tomorrow morning and I'll start drawing it as soon as I get it. Untill then, I've given you a new Fuschia Plot 5 to amaze and entertain.

"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
Zach

May 10, 2008
Look up there. . . Is that. . . Is that a new Fuschia Plot 5?
Well, here's the funny thing. I actually don't know if it is or not. I didn't keep track of wich ones I'd put up when I was still doing the voting incentives, and now I just don't know what you've seen. This one is a good one called Mardrake, Agent of Deliverance, and if you've read it then you know it's funny. To sweeten the deal I've played around with tones and shading and stuff, so it's either a little new, or completely new. Anyway, enjoy!

"To peace."
Zach

May 6, 2008
It's been a long time in the making, but I finally have a section of my very own to post my portfolio and artwork and all of that good stuff. It's all set up and in full swing, but it is also a work in progress and I will constantly be adding things to the "extra Artwork section as I doodle and create and some-such. Check out my new web page here!

"Was being green fun?"
Zach

April 27, 2008
Bad timing I know, but seriously you guys, my freaking foot exploded.
Okay, maybe that's just what it felt like, but I've twisted my ankle and I count myself amongst the injured. Just as worse off as every man-jack of them if that makes any sense. The brunt of the comicing should go on un-molested considering that I'm pretty much confined to quarters as it were, but I want it to look nice for you people, because you all look so nice tonight, so I'm gonna just ask everybody to expect Tuesday evening. If you would like, you may send flowers to my foot, but make them e-flowers, because I live in the internet.

"P.S. I make a lousy House. Does not being able to work a cane make me officially retarded? . . . I fell down, like, twice."
Zach

April 14, 2008
We are back baby!
Apologies up and down for the extended hiatus there folks. I've spent the last couple months on what I refer to as a "bender, but with work instead of booze." Things are significantly quieter now, so I'm drawing again, and it feels GREAT! I started off with some warm-up sketches that I liked so much I just HAD to flesh them out in photoshop, (I may put some of them up here so that you can see them.) After polishing up my fourth sketch it hit me. "I could be doing a freaking comic right now!" Sometimes the astonishingly obvious hits me rather later than I would like. I can't tell you what a breath of fresh air it is to go from having absolutely NO time whatsoever for non-work related projects, to being able to create four original artworks, and a full-page comic in a day. I felt like Superman, and rewarded myself with sweet brain-killing, paranoia bringing alcohol.
Sometimes life is a bitch, Not this week though.
Welcome back, and hugs for the whole mess of ya'.

"I'm like a choco-holic, but for booze."
Zach

February 11, 2008
Hello all.
It's been awhile and I know the updates have been less than on schedule, so I thought I'd update everyone on why. Firstly, there is NO love lost on this project. It's still my half baby and I love it as though it were my whole baby. The trouble is the other job. I'm working on the production staff for an animated feature film that, come hell or high water, will be opening on June 6th. Here in the lighting department we have about seven weeks left and that's starting to feel pretty scary. Needless to say, I've been working Saturdays. The bad news is, Random gaping update schedules will continue untill the film is finished. The good news is, that's going to be in a matter of months, whether I want it to be or not. After that things will cool down. . .
Or they'll halt entirely, because to be perfectly honest, I have no idea if I'll have a job when the movie's over. AAAAAAA!!!!. Meh. Regardless, my time will be more focused on CONvicts when this all wraps.
You guys have been remarkably patient and I haven't recieved a single death threat. That either means that you understand how it is... or you don't care and CONvicts has no real impact on your lives. Either way I guess I'm happy about no death threats!
In case anyone was wondering, this is all totally my fault. My bussiness is clogging up my drawing time, and it has nothing to do with Sam. Guys been getting me scripts like a champ. I'm guessing he will either remain dilligent as a champ as always, or kill me and eat my talent like a champ. That would probably be a much more efficient way of handling things.
So ya, toodles for now!

"My favorite thing about deadlines
is the whooshing sound they make as they go by" -Douglas Adams
Zach

November 13, 2007
Agh! I am so sorry about this you guys. Sometimes life just empties it's bowels all over you all at once, and honestly I'm really not into that scene. Sigh. Anyway, I really owe you guys an explanation on this one. We were almost there, the light at the end of the tunnel could be seen and it was all bright and shiny and nice. Things had settled down and we were ready to get back to our regularly scheduled weekly updates. I was working on the newest page in our ridiculous little saga here and I had gotten almost all the way through inking. And then my dog starts to slip into a seisure. She'd been in pretty poor condition for awhile now and it became imediately and painfully clear that this was it. We took Savant to an emergency pet clinic at 7:00pm on Sunday the 11th of November, and within an hour my dog of 11 years was put to sleep on a cold small table in a room the size of a watercloset, while myself and a few members of my family watched in helpless sorrow. I have never so mourned the loss of a pet. I've got a level head on my shoulders and I'm all to familiar with death. This was just different. This dog was great. This dog was sitting in the back yard being awesome and eating expensive food all the fucking time. This dog did not, unfortunately, respond to "Xerxes," but she looked like she could. Strangely enough, when I got home I immediately picked up the comic, believing that I was going to finish it that night regardless. Needless to say that didn't go very far, and I instead spent the remainder of the evening curled into the fetal position shoveling tear soaked food and alcohol into my weeping baby-mouth while watching "Surfs-Up." So that's what happened. I really apologize for my weakness and all that. The comic is almost done, and it will be finished this evening as soon as I've returned home from work. You'll be reading it tomorrow, that's a promise. Thanks everyone for not killing me for my lack of dependability.
Till next time.

"His name was Seymour. He was once intimate with the wandering leg of a saxophonist. He had wet dog smell, even when dry. And he was not above chasing the number 29 bus."
Zach

October 10, 2007
So I just wanted to pop in and apologize for how slowly things are moving right now. As some of you may already know, I've got me a new job and it's a real hum-dinger. Needless to say, no, we're not dead, but yes, at the moment the schedule is not exactly locked down. For the time, think of us more like VG cats than say, Questionable Content. Not in terms of quality mind you, simply in terms of dependability. I'll get this whole thing figured out eventually. I have begun work on the next strip, and since the schedule doesn't seem to exist at the moment, it'll just go up when it's done. Sory I can't be more vague about that. It looks super nice though, so look forward to it. Or don't.
Peace!

"I'm not gonna stop untill babies START. . . THAT'S a sign!"
Zach

September 5, 2007
Obviously this page is a few days late, and obviously this isn't the first time that's happened. New job. Forced out of my apartment. It's been a bit of a transitional weekend, to say nothing of a busy one. Sometimes that sort of thing happens and I'm forced to put CONvicts aside in favor of chaos, but things are settled now, and here's the new strip. Cheers, everyone. Let's hope for an extended period of normalcy.

"My ANUS... is BLEEDING!" "La la la la la"
Zach

July 29, 2007
Comic-con is almost done being ruined by us, and I thought I'd drop in to remind everyone that there won't be a new strip this week, as has become our custom for this most holy of weekends. Even so, there may be SOME new material here at some point if we can find the time, so check in if that were the sort of thing you'd like to do. I'm just gonna say we found something kinda crazy here, I'll fill you in on that particular item in a future blog on the myspace page. *Update* The blog is up now. Check it out here.

"Get off my plane."
Zach

June 26, 2007
So yes. I don't actually have any real news at the moment, I just hated having that old posting up there, saying the strip was late when it's currently not, So now I'm distracting you with this! OOOooohhh. Look at these words. Isn't the subway train background pretty? Yes. Yes it is.
I'm out.

"I can tell you're pretty upset about this Dave."
Zach

May 30, 2007
By now I'm sure you've all noticed this, but I figured I should write something anyway. CONvicts is taking the week off, and will be back with a new strip next Sunday. Sam is busy with finals, and I have a number of independant obligations to fulfill or however it's spelled, plus I just spent the weekend up in San Francisco, so we both decided to not kill ourselves this week, and just let this one slide. I hope nobody's TOO upset, but again, we will be back next week. Till then.

"Garth, in some countries marriage is a punishment for shoplifting."
Zach

May 9, 2007
Yeah, so this is late.
Right about now is when you are probably assuming that Sam and I will explain ourselves, and all will make sense, but you know what? You're not going to like it.
It's hot. That's it. Sometimes we're just bitches like this. I sat in front of my drawing table at least four times this week, and each time about an hour or so in my brain would melt into my face, and all the drool/brain juice would get all over the comic, and you know what? I respect you guys too much to scan that in and post it, entertaining though it was. So there you go. It's late because I'm a bastard who doesn't have an air conditioner.
So the Kid's Book Project. We've signed on to participate, and are awaiting our turn to supply a page. It's an interesting project, and I'm pretty excited to see how it all turns out. Some people I really respect are working on this thing, and if you want to learn more about it just click the banner up there.
As it says, all profits from the book go to the make a wish foundation, so don't worry, you're not giving me, or any other webcomicing vagrants any money on this thing. (Trust me, we'd just spend it all on booze.) So if you're interested, might as well be entertained for a good cause.
"TTFN"

"Moon Pie. . . What a time to be alive."
Zach

April 29, 2007
Super busy this weekend. The new comic will go up on Monday night. Untill then, check out the new Fuschia Plot 5, and sorry about the delay guys.
"I came here to kick ass, and chew bubblegum, and I'm all outta bubblegum."
Zach

April 15, 2007
Wow, there's a lot of bloom in this one. It's like I can only convey cuteness through massive ammounts of bloom or something.
Oh well, I think it looks extra special nice.
So I'm going insane. My room mate has been trying to kill 50,000 zombies in Dead Rising so that he can unlock some thing of some such thing, so he's just been running them down in the parking garage area ALL DAY LONG. I had time to do this weeks strip, and enjoy a congratulatory beer durring the time it's taking him to kill these damn undead monsters. He's actually still doing it right now, as I type this. I don't know why I'm telling you all this. . . Guess I just felt like making small talk.
See you next week.
"Who will survive and what will be left of them?"
Zach

April 10, 2007
Hey guys, I thought I should take some time to explain why the comic is so. . . simple this week. I just got home from an amazing trip to Springfield Ohio to visit some friends, and I did absolutely NO work on the strip whatsoever while I was there. I thought I could pound out a halfway decent looking page if I worked on it all Sunday, but I failed to take into consideration that Sunday was Easter, and my family would rip my frozen ears off if I didn't stop by, so yeah. . . I like my ears. What you see here now is the result of a massive amount of corner cutting, and really only took about six hours to toss together, but sometimes these things are just going to happen. Sorry about that, I swear the next one will look better, and maybe I'll try to get a new Fuschia Plot 5 up this week if I ever get over my jet lag.
Anyway, I had an amazing time in the Midwest, playing in the snow and all that, and I'm in a real "screw California" mood so I'm going to go be angry somewhere else.
Thanks guys!
"Sorry I'm late, I was getting a piping-hot cup of coffee. It's far too hot to drink, but luckily my leathery man-mouth can take it."
Zach

March 4, 2007
So I would like it very much if you guys took a look at the new strip in our links section, Halley's Comic. Not for MY benefit mind you, I fail to see how I would benefit from that. Do this for yourselves. I'm fairly certain that if you read ANY of the archives, you will end up reading all of them. I REALLY enjoyed them, they are just plain funny. Actual funny. Not that fake stuff.
Also, the Fuschia Plot 5 up there is an interesting one. It's my old Gamer Lamer Guest Strip. I know that this one has been available for a while on their website, www.gamerlamer.com, but I thought some of you might not have seen it yet, and I think it's good. Gamer Lamer was like our conjoined twin back in the day, but, as they often do, our twin died and now it hangs lifelessly off of our head making life rough, but also making really interesting party conversation.
Yeah, they stopped doing the strip, and it looks like they won't be comming back, but I still recomend the archives. Those are good.
Hey, this voting strip is in color if that sweetens the deal. . .
Goodnight.
"People are just bastard covered bastards with bastard filling."
Zach




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